Day 44 - The Immense Value of TV-Free Family Meals

I used to be a BIG advocate of eating in front of the TV. There was something so beautiful about it. A plate full of warm food and stimulation; What could be wrong with this?! Not only was I consuming a meal but it was supplemented and enhanced by moving pictures that took me somewhere beyond the confines of the house. I did not have to exert energy to talking with anyone else or even thinking; after a long day at work it was the ultimate in what I perceived was relaxation. As a family we each got to do our own thing; eat what we want, how we want, when we wanted to.

As I began researching what would eventually become The Awake Eating Method I was introduced to the benefits of mindful eating. The whole second principle of Be Present is all about releasing distractions and coming to terms with the entertainment value and nourishment from the meal alone. But this concept did not stick with me until something unexpected happened.

Last winter, a huge storm moved in and we got nearly ten feet of snow in a matter of days. I was so excited initially. The chaos of storms quiets my mind and brings me to a place of peace and surrender. I thought that as I stood at the top of the staircase, probably doing some silly dance before throwing an item in the trash, until a  huge crash let loose above my head. Trees were breaking and falling all over the forest and one fell right above my head. The whole family slept in the same bed, siphoned off in a safe corner of the house should the other large pine tree outside decide to cave and shoot through the roof. We had no power or water for ten days. We bathed by melting snow in pots on the wood burning stove and then taking bird baths with a bar of soap and a rag. I thought about having sex with my husband during this span of time - but then decided I would rather be a nun than risk the not-pleasantries of dirty body sex. We dug a hole in the forest outside that we used as a toilet; a bag was next to our front door that had a receptacle for toilet paper new and used. My neighbor's dog rolling in my feces was definitely a hilarious low point. 

The epiphany came with our meals. They were lit by candlelight and the food, although lacking in gourmet complexity, was downright delicious. The cooking process took so much effort (with a propane stove that I was convinced was going to blow up the house and sticking items experimentally in the fireplace to see what would char just enough to be edible) and so much time. When we finally dished out the portions and sat down at the dining room table each bite was divine and straight from the space gods. Our conversations were light and happy; after the manual labor of shoveling snow and stepping through the deceptively heavy sludge up to our waist, just being by the fire and eating was the ultimate in relaxation; pure gratitude. The meals lasted longer as we ooohhed and ahhhed at every spoonful or forkful. Our attention was only on the food and our bodies slowly sinking into the warm floor as our wet clothes hanging on the window sill dripped and dropped their way to dryness.

These meals were the best that I ever had. My daughter still talks about them to this day. The card games and board games we would play were our entertainment after the meal and then the natural circadian rhythm signaled us off to sleep.... at 8pm. After the power came back on, it was life as usual and I was so deeply impacted that I could not turn back.

Savoring food is dead. We place TV, radio, reading or multi-tasking ahead of the immense pleasure that is available to us from devotion to the pleasure of the eating process. Read my blog on The Effects of Distracted Eating for specific reasons why, even if you live alone, eating TV-free will be a huge first step in achieving the health you desire.

What about the effect of this TV-distraction on the family model? How does it affect our relationships with our children and spouse? How does it influence the physical health of each family member? Below are some bullets on research that has been done in this area. You may be surprised:

• In the Nurses' Health Study in 2003 researchers looked at 50,000 women aged 30 to 55, finding their odds of obesity rising 23 percent and their risk of type 2 diabetes rising 14 percent for every additional two hours of television time they logged.
• Neumark-Sztainer's study in 2007, published in the Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior indicated that teens in families that watched TV while eating together had a lower-quality diet than children of families that had TV-free meals. Teens watching television ate fewer vegetables, calcium-rich food and grains; they also consumed more soft drinks than their peers who ate meals without the TV on.
• Published in the International Journal of Food Sciences and Nutrition in 2010, a study showed that school kids who spent prolonged hours in front of television tend to be overweight or obese. A national sample of adolescents indicated that 64 percent of 11- to 18-year-olds had the TV on during meals.
• In a recent Harvard Study researchers found that family dinners were more important to children’s language development than having parents who read to them or play with them. 
• A 10-year study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse found that the more often a family eats together, the happier the experience becomes. They also found that most children wish they could eat together as a family more often.
• Other studies have found that the more often families eat together, the less likely children are to smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, binge on junk food, become depressed, consider suicide and have sex at a young age. The family meal environment demands awareness and connection in the family on a regular basis.
• Researchers at Minnesota University girls who dined alone ate less fruit but had more soft drinks and snack foods, and consumed 14 percent fewer calories than girls who ate with their parents – suggesting that solo eating puts girls at a higher risk of suffering from eating disorders.
• David Burley, an assistant professor of sociology at Southeastern Louisiana University, states the following about TV-based meals.
• People eat slower and consume less food than when they are tied to the tube.
• Family meals without TV strengthen the family bond and the need for connection.
• TV-free family meals provide children with a stable outlet for learning social interaction like learning to listen to others and taking turns that otherwise would not be implemented.
•  My favorite quote on TV-free family meals by Miriam Weinstein:
• "[E]ating ordinary, average everyday supper with your family is strongly linked to lower incidence of bad outcomes such as teenage drug and alcohol use, and to good qualities like emotional stability. It correlates with kindergartners being better prepared to learn to read. . . . Regular family supper helps keep asthmatic kids out of hospitals. It discourages both obesity and eating disorders. It supports your staying more connected to your extended family, your ethnic heritage, your community of faith. It will help children and families to be more resilient, reacting positively to those curves and arrows that life throws our way. It will certainly keep you better nourished. The things we are likely to discuss at the supper table anchor our children more firmly in the world. Of course eating together teaches manners both trivial and momentous, putting you in touch with the deeper springs of human relations."  

Step 2 in The Awake Eating Method seems to be more than just a principle that clues us in to the feelings and signals of our body; it has a profound effect on family and relationship connection.

Nat

Sources:  David Burley, Ph.D., assistant professor, sociology, Southeastern Louisiana University, Hammond, La.; Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, Ph.D., professor, epidemiology and community health, University of Minnesota; April 9, 2003, Journal of the American Medical Association; September/October 2007 Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior; July 21, 2010, International Journal of Food Sciences and Nutrition. HealthDay Articles, Soloman, Maureen, 01-27-2011.

Ties That Bind At Mealtime. Yardley, Jonathan. Washington Post. 08-30-2005. Web link.
Feeding the Family. Boniface, Linley. New Zealand Listener. 11-23-2007. Web link.  
The Importance of Family Meals. Olesen, Nancy. Minnesota Public Radio. 01-11-2008. Web link.