Day 25 - Unconditional Permission to Eat for Kids

Basic Principles of Unconditional Permission to Eat

1. There are no good foods or bad foods, only foods that create different experiences in the body (this is my favorite principle to remember).
2. Allowance is key. Research shows that the more a well-meaning parent interferes with a child's eating the more likely they are to have a problem with eating and a problem with their weight. Allow your child to develop their own mastery of hunger and fullness.
3. Every single one of us was born with the ability to nourish and feed ourselves without input from others. We can trust ourselves.
4. Call 'healthy foods' nourishing foods. Their purpose is to feed and take care of the body.
5. Call 'unhealthy foods' play foods. Their purpose is to have fun. 

Basic Parenting Tips for Implementing Unconditional Permission to Eat

Empty bag of cheese puffs in my daughter's room after movie night. 

• Have your child choose one play food for every grocery shopping trip (every three to four days for me). This is a gentle way to slowly incorporate the idea that any food is okay, without triggering a budget problem from the cart being full of every item imaginable. 
• Portion sizing can be helpful. I do not encourage counting calories or measuring food. That is counter-productive to awake eating. One thing I did notice, though, was that with my daughter's first play food of chocolate pudding had individual cups that made it easier for her to know when the play experience could end. She never went back for more and felt complete. With her second choice of cheese puffs the large bag was challenging. What I am going to do for these non-individual container items is divide them up into individual baggies in the pantry. If she wants to have more than one serving (or more than one baggie) that is fine. The point is to get her to develop an awareness about amounts by simply reaching the bottom of the first serving and asking herself if she really wants a second or third.
• Make sure that nourishing foods are provided at least three times out of the five times your child eats (3 meals, 2 snacks). For example, the play foods that my daughter has chosen are mostly snacks. I serve nourishing foods at the three meals, and she can choose what she wants for the snacks of the day. If your child wants a meal play food (lets say it is pizza or a fast food item) than make sure that snacks are provided that are nourishing foods.
• Make sure that you are feeding their body enough food so that red-flag hunger does not motivate eating behavior. If we get too hungry we are not able to listen to our body and enjoy the eating experience.
• Remind your child that to truly enjoy their play food they must pay attention to the eating process. Have them release distractions and sit down and savor it. This is key!
• What is a satisfying food experience? What was it like eating chocolate for dinner? Engage in empowering conversations about how best to enjoy their play foods and how different eating experiences made them feel.
• Make a list of your child's favorite nourishing foods. This should not be all about play food but about allowing your child to experience unconditional permission to eat any foods that she/he desires. 
• If you find that you are having a hard time allowing, read the basic principles above. Remember that food is not the problem, it is the consciousness of lack and deprivation that is.

Click here to read more about giving ourselves Unconditional Permission to Eat..

Nat