Day 32 - Clean Your Plate Syndrome

I was eating a delicious salad and not enjoying it as much as I would have liked. The thick balsamic vinaigrette with a hint of honey that I loved was nixed by the deli and a sour, runny version put in its place. The food critic in me was amazed at how the sauce could make or break the tone and satisfaction factor of the meal. How disappointed I was that it was not meeting my expectations.

My table was right next to a window overlooking the parking lot. People were arriving and leaving with my oddity-of-self watching them, having no concern of politeness for staring. I loved trying to guess what the conversation was like before each exited their car.

After glancing down for a long moment at my meal I saw out of the corner of my eye a threesome coming toward the window. It was an elderly man with a weathered leathery face. With him were two young boys, one that looked around four years old and the other most likely my daughter's age of around eight or nine. The man took position next to a tree by the entrance and instructed the children to play in the dirt below. With not a single moment of hesitation they began an imaginary game, eyes wide and excited to be set loose. The man pulled out a piece of cardboard. It was from a cracker box and when it was turned over it said, "Out of Gas" with a smiley face below. The way he revealed it spoke volumes. He hesitated for a brief moment, as if exposing it would cause a barrage of stones to be thrown his direction and then hung his head low while people passed. Out of gas means out of money. Out of money means little or no food. How could I sit here and enjoy this meal (or be critical of its taste), when just feet away from me children may be going without?

With these realities near or in our experience one 'how of eating' belief can become difficult to heal; the 'clean your plate' belief. This is a syndrome characterized by a need or desire to finish everything that is on our plate, without regard for our own physical needs, because of deep-rooted beliefs of lack.

Do you find that you always finish what you serve yourself or what is given to you? Do you ever ask yourself why? Why do you finish what is on the plate if you are actually satisfied or full? Here are the most common answers from clients who have the Clean Your Plate Syndrome:

• Out of pure habit.
• Because my parents taught me to clean my plate.
• Some people are starving so I should be grateful and consume whatever I am given.
• It tastes so good! I just want to eat as much as I can because it is pleasurable.
• I get distracted and just eat until there is no more.
• I paid for it so I am going to finish it!
• It feels satisfying to finish something.

Some of the time we insist on eating until everything is gone because of cost; we want to get the best value. Other times it can be because of distraction; we rely on external cues like our fork hitting an empty plate to tell us when to stop. The most common clean your plate belief though has to do with something deeply emotional and personal; the fear of not enough. 

The morality of 'finishing' is deeply embedded in many of us. Perhaps our parents went through the depression or even something as traumatic as the holocaust and taught us that tomorrow we truly may not have what our body needs - so we better eat today. We may even have experienced first hand starvation or going without food for long periods of time from poverty. Some clients were part of a big family and felt like the runt puppy in a litter, not feeling capable or strong enough to get the milk they needed. Whatever the source the bottom line is that we get the signal that 'tough times' can creep up at any moment and preparing, by holding on to each morsel today, is the best defense.

Healing your Clean Your Plate Syndrome is actually a powerful method to become a healthier more, 'in tune' eater. Here are ways that an intuitive eater views these beliefs:

• Children are starving in Africa: Who has not heard this argument from their parents? The reasoning does not make sense. Consuming more from our plate does not have any consequence on people who are starving. If you really do care about the state of humanity then take the energy that you have from not stuffing yourself (and eating until you are satisfied) and use it to fund-raise or volunteer in your community.
• Being wasteful is immoral and selfish: Cleaning your plate is wasteful in its own right if you are not truly hungry anymore. The food is not digested and utilized as well and thus provides less true energy. You may end up putting on more weight or eat so much that you purge. Your health suffers and society takes the bill. True waste comes from individuals who are not achieving their highest health potential. The beauty of awake eating is that the more you tune into your body's signals, the more efficient you become at ascertaining your dietary and portion needs. 
• It tastes good: When we are truly present for the pleasurable sensations of food and our body we know when to stop. The issue is usually that we appreciate the food and at the same time disregard the friendship and camaraderie of the body.
• I have accomplished something: I tell my clients that we are artists and food is our sculpture. If we are using food as a way to feel a sense of completeness then what does that say about our life? Why are we not gaining enough satisfaction and creative reward from accomplishing other tasks in our life? True achievement comes from leaving food when you know that your body has had enough and moving on to the reason why we eat in the first place - to enjoy other things.  
• Others do not have, so I should be grateful for every bit: As was the case for me at the deli. Yet again, this reasoning does not stand up to common sense. Would ignoring my body's cues and continuing to eat when I am no longer hungry be a sign of gratitude? That would be like continuing to fill up the gas tank in our car even though it was overflowing while we say how much we value it. The value level comes not from the amount taken in or whether we 'finish' off the supply but rather from utilizing its potential energy in the best, most efficient way possible.

Studies have shown that nearly all of us serve ourselves amounts of food that really have nothing to do with anything. We serve portions depending on the amount that is in the pot or dish, how many choices there are, who we are with and where we are. These are all external factors that have no precedence over what the body really needs. How do we bypass this and discover what amount of food will truly nourish us and not weigh us down? Letting go of the Clean Your Plate Syndrome! Here are some simple tips:

• Trashcan Your Food Exercise: Go out and buy a food item that you know you are only going to eat a portion of, acknowledging that you are going to throw it away when you are comfortably satisfied. Do this a couple times a week until you get comfortable with honoring your internal signals.
• Taper Down Exercise: At every meal practice leaving just a teaspoon-worth of food on your plate gradually increasing amounts as you get comfortable. Sometimes I do this and notice that I have more energy and feel more empowered by doing so (as long as I am honoring my body's needs).
• Appetizer Dining Exercise: Instead of using big dinner plates at your next meal, use small snack plates. Serve yourself small portions of the food, knowing that you will go back for seconds, thirds or fourths should you feel the need. This will allow you to get used to serving smaller portions and not feeling the need to pile a plate high (and then end up having to throw a portion away should you honor your fullness.)
• Two-Time Sit Down Exercise: Click here to read about it. This exercise can help teach you how to listen to your body while also detaching from the power of 'accomplishing' the whole meal.

The Clean Your Plate Syndrome does nothing for us, people in need or humanity as a whole. It teaches us to rely on external factors when eating and perpetuates the true cause of imbalances, eating disorders and health issues; pushing away our own intuitive nature and internal sensations.

Nat