Day 16 - Are You A Fattist?

Last year in my daughter's elementary school I would volunteer my time in the classroom. I began to see some interesting themes in social behavior among the children. Even in first grade there was an exclusion of some kids or perhaps merely an affinity for others. One girl stood out in her struggle to be accepted. Lets call her 'Ann.' She was a kind and generous six-year-old who would make a point of hugging me every day when I came in like I was a long lost friend. On field trips we would sit next to each other on the bus and chat about her large and very interesting family, her parents work schedule and what she thought about living near a volcano. I just adored her open and giving nature. Out on the playground I watched her, expecting her jovial and outgoing personality to reveal itself among her peers. She wandered around a bit on the pavement hovering on the outside of click-like groups only to decide to sit under a tree and dig pictures into the soil. She did not have very many friends. Not even my daughter. She seemed lonely and lost. She also happened to be overweight.

As a society we have moved forward by leaps and bounds to observing equality among sex, race, religion and creed. We pride ourselves in seeing past diverse variations and connecting on a higher level. So it may  come as a surprise that even the most educated, open-minded and evolved of us may have deep-rooted prejudices against one physical condition: obesity.

Fatism is discrimination based on a person's weight. You may think that you and your immediate circle of friends are immune but I have to tell you, when I recently took a look around and evaluated the people in my life, I was surprised.

As a child my father always had the habit of somehow mentioning a person's weight or body profile in his descriptions or updates:

"How is Aunt Betty?" I would say

"Oh, Natalie. She is just in bad shape. Probably 250 pounds now."

A boss whom I adored would always show an aversion to female customers who were overweight. During conversations his distaste with women who did not 'take care of themselves' was an issue of extreme disgust. I could see obvious differences in our service based on his beliefs.

Stopping at a cross walk would bring up overt and rude comments from my guy friends, 'SHE did not wave?! Too lazy and fat to even notice.' Going in to Wal-Mart or driving past any fast food joint instigated a onslaught of comments.

Nutrition mentors and colleagues of mine have made comments on how they perceive there to be a link between being overweight and having character flaws. They have commented on how when they see that a client is very overweight they have immediate personality judgments and conclusions based on that fact.

In the media and entertainment industry it is no better. If an actress decides to wear a bikini on a body that is not gym-seasoned the tabloids plaster insults in every magazine and periodical they can find. And people buy it!

Fattism even permeates our professional environment. In a recent work-place survey published in the UK they found that 93% of bosses preferred to a hire a thin worker and only 7% would employ an obese one.

Are you a fatist? Answer any of these questions to ascertain whether you have a prejudice against the overweight condition:

1. Do you feel that anyone who is fat is unattractive?
2. When you meet someone who is overweight do you make assumptions about their personality, life or worth because of it?
3. Do you think that others being fat has a negative impact on you (economically, socially, etc.)?
4. Do you get angry at people who exhibit extra amounts of weight because you think they live a careless and gluttonous lifestyle?
5. Do you think you are better, more successful or more attractive because you weigh less than someone else?

Here are some of the common arguments I have heard to justify judgment of obesity along with my retort:

•  It is a representation of physical and emotional toxicity.
•  This can be true. In fact most, if not all, people who are overweight use food as a destructive way to express how they feel about themselves and the world. It can overtly represent an internal emotional condition of sadness, anger or lack of self-love. Yes, adipose tissue (or fat tissue) in the body can be stubborn and stick in a toxic system. The same is true though for anyone with any weight. Being too thin, having dry skin, acne, eczema, gray hair, wrinkles or crooked teeth (like me!) can all be a sign of toxicity or imbalance. Being fat is just another physical experience of learning how to be healthy like any other manifestation of physical imbalance.
•  It is a sign of laziness, lack of will power or some other character flaw.
• "Put the fork down!" is a key phrase in one of Denis Leary's stand up shows. He could not be more wrong. Some of the most committed, strong and intelligent people also happen to be overweight. Lack of health in this area is not because a person was born with a mental deficiency. The hunger and need for nourishment can be so urgent and strong that the appetite can never be quenched until the core issues of emotional love and a nutrient-dense diet can be addressed. Maybe some people who are hefty could also happen to have negative character traits but so do supermodels, CEO billionaires and the everyday thin person. Experiencing an overweight body is not synonymous with any negative character trait.
• Fat people are expensive to our health care system.
• Old people, athletes and type A personality stress-cases are expensive to our health care system, too. I understand that personal responsibility when it comes to health is necessary. Many of us are addicted to being in victim-hood about our current disease, condition or state of imbalance. It is upsetting when solutions exist but we are not ready or have not found the right path to become empowered and live up to our full potential. With all of that said, though, we exist in an out-of-whack society that places emphasis on externalizing solutions instead of embodying them. Being fat is not what is expensive to our health care system. It is the belief that we are victims to disease or aging that is.
• I am just 'observing' or noting the obvious.
• It makes sense to observe and describe what you see. Observation can be very beneficial. You can notice that someone looks a certain way without making conclusions from only that vantage point. It is when descriptions take a big leap based on only the physical factor that it becomes a prejudice. For example, if you meet an old friend that has become very overweight and you are describing this to your spouse it is understandable to mention that along with the other things you discovered about the person (how welcoming and nice they were, their career and family, etc.) it was surprising how different they looked. It is when the majority of your conclusions about the experience are based on their physical state that it is fattism. When we make the choice to see only one dimension of a person we are no longer observing. 

As a Nutritionist addressing fatism is a subtle line. Being obese is not healthy. It ups our risk of certain cancers, heart disease and diabetes. It can deeply impact our quality of life and our most vital and important self-worth. Being obese, though, is not an innate defect. It is just another life experience that we are to learn from. 

Little Ann from elementary school may have the short end of the stick through her adolescence because she is wearing her unique lessons outwardly on her body for the world to see. Many of us do not have to bare that burden.

The next time you find that you are judging an overweight person (or yourself!) remember this one quote (from my hilarious husband): "Why judge a person on the way they look when people give us plenty of material based on their true character?"

Nat