Day 52 - More Calorie Myths

A favorite pastime of mine is demystifying the calorie. It provokes and surprises. A unit of measurement that is about as sensible as caveman technology, the calorie may have you hypnotized like a cult-follower to Kool-Aid. Get over it! Cut the chord between you and this delusion, and use your body wisdom instead as a guide.

Why A Calorie Is Not A Calorie

1. Your Digestive System: Two identical twins can both eat the exact same meal for 30 days but if one of them has taken antibiotics, been exposed to toxins or has somehow damaged his digestive system, do you think that their body composition will turn out the same? You can swallow all the food that you want but do not make the assumption that it will magically be utilized. If your food is not utilized (through stomach acid, proper enzyme excretion, vitamin and mineral co-factor activation, etc.) than it does not count biochemically. In fact, food that is eaten but not used can slow down the rate of metabolism.
2. Your Endocrine System: Three identical triplets can each consume 2000 calories for 30 days with vastly different results. One could eat 2000 calories a day of table sugar, the second of beef and the third of oil. Will their body composition outcome be the same? Of course not. Sugar calories are different than oil calories because our body responds to different ratios of foods with different hormonal responses. Different sources of calories equals entirely different results in the body. 

More Ridiculousness of Calories In and Calories Out:

• The calorie was 'discovered' in the 1800's by chemist Wilbur Atwater. He measured calories by incinerating food. A log has a certain amount of calories that we utilize when we burn it in a fireplace, but that is not the equivalent to what it means in our unique and one-of-a-kind body. Why do we still use the calorie? Because it is a simple and cheap way to measure in science when we do not have anything else straightforward and marketable.
• The 200 calories that you burned weight lifting are not as encouraging as you thought. If you were practically comatose you would have burned a good amount of energy just sitting on the couch watching reality TV, due to your body's utilization of energy, even at rest (this is called your Basal Metabolic Rate). For most people this is about 100 calories per hour. So that weightlifting was actually only worth 100 calories. If you ate a large 110 calories apple before, then you are actually down 10 calories that still need to be burned! Do you see how this does not make sense? Can you begin to understand how odd it is to use a form of measurement that does not take into account the vehicle that is being used, along with its numerous parts and interacting mechanisms? It would be like the automobile industry providing a gauge for fuel mileage across the board, regardless of the vehicle (golf cart or tank), engine size (horse power?), machinery (made by an entirely different company with different technology) or maintenance (how pure is it? how many oils changes and rotations have occurred) is utilized!
• Timothy Ferris, New York Times Bestselling Author or The 4- Hour Workweek, was recorded by Dr. Peggy Plato, the director of the Sports and Fitness Evaluation Program at San Jose State University in an experiment on calories in and calories out. In 28 days he gained 34 pounds of muscle and lost 4 pounds of fat. With the calorie delusion we would have to assume that he ate 7000 calories a day, while also dropping body fat. He did not eat that many calories. They were amazed to find that the human body's reaction to food is not directly associated with calories. What do you say to that?

Infinite factors are inter-playing physiologically that have nothing to do with calories in and out. Click here to read a previous, more comprehensive blog on the True Meaning of the Calorie.

Nat

Day 51 - Emotional Undereating

Overeating and undereating, although they may appear to be opposites, are in fact responding to similar core issues; needing a sense of control or purpose in a chaotic or empty-feeling life. Although those of us who have a tendency to overeat may think that undereaters are a whole different species altogether, it is actually just another form of disordered eating. Here are some of the foundational principles that underlay undereating:

• Using food restriction as an emotional coping mechanism
• Allowing weight or body shape to determine worth
• Disconnection from body wisdom (hunger, fullness, positive sensation)

Are You an Undereater?

• Have you eliminated certain classes of food (such as carbs or fat)?
• Do you think that thinner is always better?
• Do you deal with heavy emotions of anger, sadness, worry or despair by not eating?
• Does not eating make you feel more in control? 
• Do you like the feeling of being valued and praised for your level of control and restriction around eating? 
• When life gets stressful do you place your physical needs last on the list? 
• Do you tend to get overwhelmed easily and place others needs ahead of your own?
• Does stress cause you to lose your sense of hunger?
• Do you oftentimes feel that you do not know what your body needs or what it is telling you?

If you responded yes to multiple questions above than it may be worthwhile to begin to apply some of the basic steps in this blog.

The misfortune of struggling with undereating, whether chronic in the case of anorexia or slightly habitual when under stress, is that it is considered an admirable trait by society. Those who can control and detach themselves from eating are placed on a pedestal and praised. Co-workers, family, friends and strangers give us attention and acclaim when they see us losing weight, nibbling cautiously on food or leaving extra servings on the plate.

Case in point: Recently I got a bout with a horrible flu. I was out of commission for a whole week, writhing in pain in 5 bath tubs a day as the fever coarsed its way through my veins and my muscles felt like they were being eaten alive by virus, aching their way to a slow death. It was horrible. I could not eat anything. The thought of any food made me want to gag, even though I was hungry and so incredibly tired. Finally, after a lot of sleeping I came out the other end. The first day that I went back into town I saw a family friend. Here is how the conversation went:

"Wow! You have lost a lot of weight!" He exclaimed, looking me up and down.

"Oh. Well, yes, I was sick for a whole week and couldn't eat anything. That is probably why." Acting nonchalant I immediately began inquiring in my head. I had noticed that I had lost a good amount of muscle but was surprised that someone would have noticed.

"Well... you should get sick more often!!" He replied as he turned and walked away. I could not believe it. After essentially starving myself for seven days, I was told that I looked better than ever. Not only that, but this person was implying that I should continue to restrict so that I can dive into the realm of immeasurable thinness.

I was hugely disappointed that the thickness and muscle that I had acquired in my legs had been utilized as fuel during the illness. I thought I looked way better filled in, strong and functional. Yet this interaction personifies the fact that many in our society are socially conditioned to believe that a slim and streamlined female figure is better. Is it any wonder that some develop an affinity with undereating when it is applauded? What does it say about our current society when withholding and restricting garners more worship?

Wouldn't you rather create an internal world that has unconditional permission and positive sensation at its hub, fused with a natural radiance and attractiveness that comes from the joy of affirmative feeling? That is what The Awake Eating Method Nutrition Program is about.

If you struggle with undereating it is essential that you learn the following principles and apply them in your daily life:

1. Radiant health is the currency of beauty. No matter how many of us have been brain washed to believe that a certain body type constitutes beauty, it only penetrates into a shallow level of being. Every single person understands deep within that beauty is really just the ability to shine. When we shine bright from within, giving out our unique gifts and talents to the world around us, we positively affect all who come into our presence. That is the underlying foundational truth of beauty.  
1. Applicable step: When you find that you are restricting food out of fear of gaining weight, acknowledge that food is what fuels our body with the energy it needs to shine bright for all to see. Food that nourishes us is what creates a canvas for beauty.
2. Learn the life skill of thriving during challenges. Stress is just a feeling of not being able to cope. We all run into moments of pure overwhelm in life. It could be as simple as worrying about how to make breakfast in time or paying a bill, to something as heavy and complex as your parent's illness or your child's learning disability. The point is being able to deal with life's challenges without using the medium of food as a control tool. We must learn how to nourish our body with food and nourish our soul with self-love.
1. Applicable step: Next time you are stressed instead of withholding food ask yourself what you need to be able to function optimally. 
1. Check in with your physical body first. Do you have a headache? Are you tired? Make sure to feel the sensation of your body and take care of it first. Learn to feel your hunger and fullness through Nutritional Counseling. Oftentimes clients do not feel hunger unless they stop and relax for a bit (use the 3rd principle below). If you are not fed or nourished, then you will not be able to thrive and prosper in any area of life. Eat if you are hungry or have not eaten in 3 hours.
2. Check in with your emotional self. What do you need? Do you need help from those around you? Do you need to call and vent to a friend? How can you process what you are feeling, right now? Consider some self-care options like taking a bath, walking in nature, writing in a journal, taking an extra break at work or writing down what you want to manifest in your life. Your emotions are a gauge that are always telling you what you need to pay attention to. If you feel lousy it just means that you need to feed your soul (and maybe your tummy!).
3. Check in with the movable parts of your life. Our lives are not static. They are made up of innumerable, infinite potentials that we can reshape and redirect. What can you move around and change to diminish or eliminate this source of stress? Would making meals in the evening instead of watching TV help you take care of yourself the next day? Asking your spouse to pick up the kids two times a week would leave you with more relaxation time? You would be surprised at how many solutions exist for you. It is just a matter of valuing your feelings enough to do something about them.
3. Understand that you are worth it. Putting off eating because of a packed work schedule, family, kids, and friends are pulling on you or because there always seems to be something more important and pressing going on says that you are functioning under the belief that you do not matter. That could not be further from the truth. If you are an empty cup you have very little to give and your relationships and professional life will suffer. When you take care of yourself and fill yourself up like an overflowing cup you have the ability to create anything from this pool of potential energy.
1. Applicable step: Create a three times a day check in. If you work this could be during your breaks and lunch. If you are traveling or at home you will make a schedule similar to if you were in an office (i.e. 10am break, 12:00pm lunch, 3pm break). During these check ins do the following:
1. Deep breathing. Take just three to five minutes to do some deep breathing. All it requires is that you find a private place where you can close your eyes and focus on your breath. Shoot for 5 count for the in-breath and a 5 count for the out-breath.
2. What do I need now? After the deep breathing, still with your eyes closed, ask yourself what you need. When was the last time you hydrated yourself or ate? Are you upset about something and need an outlet? Simply ask yourself what you need and see what comes up in your mind. This is similar to the "learning the life skill" principle above, but is applied in a habitual way multiple times a day.
3. What do I want for today? This is so important!! Honing in on your desires is key to fulfilling your emotional self. Simply ask yourself what you want, and see what comes up. 

Nutritionally speaking rehabilitating from undereating is just as simple as learning how to recognize and respond to our body's wisdom. Although the above is a sampling of the concepts you can apply today, Nutritional Counseling can be a powerful way to empower yourself into a place of vibrant health. Here are some of the things that we would cover:

• Honoring your hunger
• Feeling your fullness
• Activating sensation with hydration
• Rejecting the diet mentality
• Silencing the food police
• Love your body exercises
• Discovering your true beauty
• Distinguishing emotional needs from physical needs

Remember that whether you apply the above principles or decide to see a Nutritionist you are putting yourself on a new path that is no longer about holding back. You will be starting a new journey with the consent to go ahead and enjoy the positive, good, ecstatic feelings and sensations that you were meant to experience in your lifetime. 

Nat

Day 50 - Prolonged Chewing & Weight Management

My dog Lucy has horrible gas. I mean... it is really bad. Is it foul? Yes! At first I thought maybe she rolled in something dead outside. Nope. Then I thought perhaps she was eating something rank and diseased without me knowing it. I went out and bought hypo-allergenic dog food in the hopes that eliminating the common food allergens could start to calm her gut. Yet when my husband was feeding our dogs a special treat last night I realized that the solution was right under my nose this whole time. In fact, the nutrition program I teach is precisley what could get at the root of Lucy's problem; unconscious eating.

Here is a link to a blog on my dogs Lucy and Basil: Which One Are You?

When Basil was fed a large 2 ounce chunk of chicken breast she gently placed it in her mouth and walked over to a corner to revel in the experience, alone and undisturbed. She would bite off a piece and then position it in the side of her mouth to chew it down. She drooled over and savored every bite.

Lucy on the other hand shocked me. When fed a piece of chicken the size of a deck of cards she swallowed it practically whole. No wonder her digestive system was having such a hard time!

When it comes to weight management, The Awake Eating Method (AEM) was specifically designed to get you to your optimal weight and to deliver nutrients to every nook and cranny in the body (i.e. through enhanced digestion). Enhanced digestion means that your body is able to benefit from what you are eating, and stops releasing craving and hunger signals that were just a product of eating skills gone mad.

Step 3 in the AEM, Savor, was not only designed for enhancing the pleasurable taste and texture of food. It focuses on the sensations of the food beyond the taste buds. Chewing properly allows the rest of your body (your stomach, intestines, etc.) to 'taste' and utilize the food as well.

A recently published study confirms the benefit of this step in The Awake Eating Method.

Published in Appetite, a study from the Functional Food Centre at Oxford Brooks University in England tested the theory, originally introduced by Horace Fletcher in the late 1800's, of prolonged mastication's effect on the eating experience. Fletcher's philosophy was a bit extreme, recommending to chew up to 100 times for each bite, but he claimed that doing so dramatically increased health and weight profiles in his subjects. In this study the researchers compared 35 to10 chews per mouthful and showed that higher chewing counts reduced food intake despite increasing chewing speed. They also doubled the length of the meal for achieving a subjective reference point for feeling ‘comfortably full.'

What this shows is that applying the Savor step, of slowing down and enjoying food has the ability to naturally regulate weight. Learning the skill of how to chew and savor has lasting health effects. I do not advocate counting the amount of times you chew a bite - this monitoring can diminish the enjoyment of the eating experience. Here are some simple ways of applying this step, without the counting:

• Focus on small bites, rather than large ones with overflowing fork or spoon. 
• Put your utensil down while you chew and savor each bite. Many of us tend to focus on getting the next bite on our fork or spoon before we are even half-way finished with what is in our mouth. 
• Practice the Eyes Inward Exercise to slow down and revel in the sensations of food.
• Practice the Two-Time Sit Down Exercise when feeling a rushed feeling when eating.

Lucy is going to need some help with her deep rooted food fears. I am going to start by adding a little warm water to her feed so that it will help soften up the kibble for digestion.With us, though, we have the ability to slowly change our eating habits with the above simple baby steps and to see the results come filtering in.

Nat

Sources: 


Does prolonged chewing reduce food intake? Fletcherism revisited. Appetite. Smit, Hendrik. JanKemsley, E Katherine. Tapp, Henri S. Henry, C Jeya K. doi: DOI: 10.1016/j.appet.2011.02.003

Day 49 - Why Yams Are Healthy!

Ever since Thanksgiving I have been incessantly cravings yams. The deeply pigmented orange creamed flesh, baked until pockets of caramelized starch are oozing their way out of the forked skin... ahhh. Divine.

As an Awake Eater I honor my desires. Because of this it occurred to me that eating yams any day I wish was okay. Why wait for a special occasion to have them? I was going to give myself unconditional permission to eat yams until they no longer appealed to me.

I ate them baked with olive oil in the morning. I cubed them and threw them in a roasted root vegetable rosemary dish. I mashed them with vegetable broth, sliced them into medallions and topped my salads. I made long and crispy cayenne pepper french fries with them.

Fast forward to nearly three months later. There has not been a day that has gone by where I have not had a yam. Literally. Honestly, having one everyday feels good to me still. The temperature, taste and texture is appealing and pleasing to my senses. When I feel beyond my taste buds I am satisfied; there is no doubt that my craving is feeding an inherent need. So now it is time to investigate. What is it about my yummo yammy that is so right on?

I know, first of all, that because of my training regimen that my body is wanting a quick carbohydrate energy fix. Due to the amount of muscle that I have been building it makes sense that my body is craving a carb loaded food so that I replace the glycogen stores that my body needs for recovery.

Yams are also great sources of the following nutrients (amounts found in just 1 cup of yam):

• Fiber (21.2% DV) - Provides a more steady and lasting energy and assists in sloughing out toxins from the digestive system.
• B1- Thiamine (8.6% DV) - Maintains energy supplies, coordinates activity of muscles and nerves.
• B6 (15.5% DV) - Nervous system help, breaks down sugars and starches, radiance of skin and hormonal balance.
• Vitamin C (27% DV) - Elasticity of skin and connective tissue, immune health, improves iron absorption (healthy blood and energy supplies), powerful antioxidant and assists in respiratory health.
• Manganese (25% DV) - Synthesizes fat and cholesterol, nervous system and thyroid function and blood sugar regulation.
• Potassium (26% DV) - Muscle and nerve function, electrolyte and acid-base balance, the storage of carbohydrates for use by muscles as fuel.

Each one of the above nutrients is supporting my need for lasting but easily absorb-able energy for my cells in general but also for my muscles and in-demand nervous system. They also pack the punch of removing toxins, fighting off free radical damage and internal aging. No wonder!

Nat

Day 48 - PMSing Men On Diets: The Ancel Keys Experiment

This study is so profound I discuss it with every client and doctor who is tentative about the work that I do. Is abandoning the diet cycle really necessary?

In the 1940's Ancel Keys, an American scientist, did a study on semi-starvation. He took a bunch of college-age guys who had to pass extensive medical and psychological exams to be deemed superior in health of mind and body. They were put on a six month diet and exercise regimen to ascertain the effects of a semi-starvation diet.

What happened to these men?

They had an increase in obsessive thoughts about food. They started to talk about and think about food all the time, to the point of collecting recipes and studying cookbooks (this was in the 1940's!!!). They had food cravings and they started playing with their food. They were suddenly uncertain of how to eat; should they eat slow and lengthen it out or eat it all really fast? They stopped having any interest in girls or sex. They started to develop mood disorders and severe depression. They became socially withdrawn and isolated.

One participant who worked in a grocery store suffered from a complete loss of will power and ended up eating a couple cookies, a sack of popcorn and two bananas. He suffered from severe emotional upset with nausea, and vomited. He was horribly guilty and expressed disgust and self-criticism. What does this sound like? An eating disorder. Some of the men developed eating disorders.

There were extreme reactions to the psychological effects during the experiment including self-mutilation. One subject amputated three fingers of his hand with an axe, though the subject was unsure if he had done so intentionally or accidentally.

How much food were these men eating?  They were averaging 1700 calories.

1700 calories for a college student is like today's version of dieting.

In this thousand page study the impact of food restriction is obvious. Strong and able men, screened to be able to withstand physical and mental hardship necessary to complete the study, suffered extreme psychological and biological upset from going on a mild version of dieting in America today.

Dieting and restricting does not work. Developing a healthy relationship with food and body does.

Nat

Thanks to Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD and Elyse Resch, MS, RD, FADA for introducing me to this work.

Day 47 - Relationship Deal Breakers

A colleague forwarded a thought provoking article to me titled, What Are Your Relationship Deal Breakers? from the New York Times. The story was about the results from eHarmony's website survey of the "must have" and "can't stand" responses of its 720,000 members. It identified the top 10 deal breakers in relationship.

The #1 quality that women cannot stand was racism. The #1 quality that men cannot stand was "excessive overweight." Thought provoking.

Last night my husband and I were watching American Idol (hey, I am a sucker for those goosebump moments of inspired music). One of the girls auditioning on the show was a bit of a physical comedian. She showcased her ability to do an impression of a chicken. I laughed. Her demeanor completely changed, her face contorted and the movement of her body was not something you would expect in a primped up girl. One of the most attractive traits to me in a person is their ability to place looks aside and play. My husband shook his head next to me,

"Women should not be able to do that stuff. It is SO unattractive." He smirked. He said it to get a rise out of me, one of his favorite pastimes. But it got me thinking.

As a teenager there were two things that I found irreplacable and essential for attraction; humor and optimism. The boring and tired dinners with my parents (who never touched each other in the 15 years that I observed them) and flacid conversation always left something to be wanted. Imagining spending a whole lifetime in boring interaction was not my cup of tea. I knew that I wanted more than that. Spending a lifetime with someone who could remind me to have fun and let loose, what is more valuable than that trait?

I would stay up late every Saturday to watch Saturday Night Live. My favorite was Chris Farley. His bulbous and round naked torso in the Chippendale skit was priceless. When he was the motivational speaker, using his body to crash and break the coffee table, I practically fell in love on the spot. Sure, there was no six-pack (who cares about that anyway) or muscle definition and he was extremely overweight but the thought of traveling on the journey of life with a trait as powerful and passionate as the pursuit of humor was inspiring.





Maybe it was because I was a chunker of a kid but physical was low on my list of attractive traits. I understood that a person with certain physical attributes that were prized by society did not constitute a good lover or partner. But most people do not understand this. They believe that thin, muscular or taut is what will create an awesome marriage or guarantee a life of success. It is funny when you think about it. The body is just a suit. What animates the body is what provides the essence of life and partnership.

I understand that physical is important. There needs to be attraction and sexual synergy. Movement, flexibility, endurance and stamina are physical in nature yet extend into other areas; being able to enjoy nature, get tasks done, help and assist with the basic requirements of daily life and ensure the health and survival of the family unit as a whole. Yet physical traits being the primary focus will inevitably create an out-of-balance life, never experiencing true happiness.

Clients speak of their severe worry and feeling of inadequacy that their body does not look a certain way. Maybe they do not have breasts that are youthful or big enough; perhaps they are in a size 12 instead of a size 2; the weight on the scale is never low enough. Attraction is merely placing value on the unique experience of union, why does it have to look a certain way?

The shocking thing about the article that I read this morning was that there seemed to be a huge gap in between the two sexes. Women value deeper and profound core values, while men may be more stuck on looking towards the physical to fulfill their expectations than at something else. What are your thoughts on this?

Here are my thoughts: Maybe women are the leaders in the ideals of beauty. We need to reteach our men what true beauty and attractiveness is. We must stand strong in releasing the magazine and ad-ideals of airbrushed and Photoshopped models, prim, proper and hygienic to the max behavior and bare ourselves for the world to see with confidence. We do not judge based on appearance but rather lead the way in valuing the deeper strands of essence that course their way through our being. If we do not stand strong in this, then the dynamic of relationship and human connection may self-destruct.  One day we just might wake up and realize that our pursuit of the lovely was way the hell off. We may in fact realize that the quest that we embarked on was not for love and human connection but rather an endless journey into the hell of vanity.

Start by doing the following:

Rubenesque Figures

• When evaluating another for partnership focus on the non-physical traits and the physical will fall into line. 
• Stop buying fitness and beauty magazines. Enjoy movement and feel your beauty instead.
• Know that every model you see is not represented in their raw and imperfect form. 
• Do not have plastic surgery. You are divine with every imperfection you posess.
• Stop trying to lose weight for aesthetic reasons. Focus on health. In other areas of the world and in other times in history different body types were valued and treasured. Health is what matters.
• Wear a bikini on the beach and walk around. Never be ashamed to bare your body.
• Never allow anyone to make you feel ugly. Beauty is relative only to how you feel about yourself and what you have to offer the world - no one else can ever define or sculpt that for you.

Nat

Day 46 - Compliment Dishing

I was a chubby kid with dreams of one day being beautiful. I would pump up music in my room and imagine that I was a star, proudly singing on stage for everyone to see. I would pretend that I was in a Broadway play, the main character, using large mannerisms and opera mouth gestures to ignite impromptu applause from the audience. I would imagine that I was so appealing and talented that I could achieve anything in life. The thing was, though, that it was all pretend. In my real life I was anything but confident. I knew that my body was different and that I was not beautiful like other girls.

My mother had a job at a non-profit and I would sometimes visit her office after school. The building (right off of the main street) had long hallways lined with cubicles and internal-windowed offices. I would run through the fluorescent lighting into the back, where my mom's desk was.

I don't know if there was a shortage of daughter's in this workplace but my arrival always brought people out from the woodwork. One woman in particular, named Diane, would appear every time without fail. She was a co-worker of my mother's and was, in my mind, a female version of Friar Tuck out of Robin Hood. She was immensely large, to the point that walking seemed unnatural, with a jovial demeanor. She wore what looked like robed floral clothing; a shirt that resembled a wide dress that fell past the knees and then matching cloth pants. Her short hair revealed a jolly face with sparkly eyes. Every time I saw her coming I lit up. She was the only one that I had ever met that truly made me feel beautiful (well... except for my mother but in my mind she did not count - she was biased).

Looking back I do not know why she saw something in me, but she did. The first time we met she gasped dramatically. "Dear God," she said, as her jaw dropped and then she looked at my mother, "This is the most beautiful child I have ever seen."

"Aw, thank you, Diane." My mother replied.

"Natalie," Diane whispered, kneeling down to my 11-year-old height, "Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful face? You could be a model."

"No," I said with an awkward laugh and slight blush. I thought to myself, 'This woman is delusional. No, this must be staged. My mom told her to do this.'

Yet with every meeting the impact grew. She would cajole me to her desk where she would proceed to shower me with accolades that actually seemed sincere. After awhile, I began to believe her. In spite of the fact that my body was thicker then my friends and my face plumper than any model, I began to believe that perhaps there was something special about me; that perhaps beauty was something relative.

Where do these compliment-dishing women come from? Were they bred on some island to try to preserve the sanity and integrity of self-worth? Were they trained in the artistry of beauty and language, somehow taught to be selflessly observant? Or are they just the products of upbringings where they themselves were given love and appreciation from their parents?

Why do we not comment on the sheer attractiveness that we see outwardly? Are we afraid that acknowledging another person's beauty will validate our own lack? Do we feel that it would be creepy or inappropriate to break the monotonous stranger silence with such an intimate phrase? Or is it that we are conditioned to compete and that giving a compliment would be admitting defeat?

So many of us suffer from lack of confidence, low self-esteem and body image issues. Many of us may have not heard a compliment in regards to ourselves in years and we begin to believe that we are never noticed or that we have very little to offer that is truly one-of-a-kind. What would happen if we began supporting one another by voicing what we see?

Imagine a world where people sincerely see each other. We notice the magnificence and splendor in one another and pay tribute with words. We use every opportunity to say what it is that we are genuinely thinking that has the power to uplift and inspire. One person giving an honest compliment creates a ripple effect that changes the community that day - the one person affected will share that energy with another and the process continues until everyone is seen as a work of art in some way. We never assume that they already know because most do not; and even if they do they need a reminder amidst their bad day.

In the grocery store the other day I had an experience that deeply amazed me. I was in a rush with my basket, dipping into shelves, darting past people in aisles, moving like a character in a video game. Turning the corner into the canned food aisle a woman stood facing away from me looking at the curry canned seasonings. She had the most beautiful blond hair that was perfectly curled like it was out of some 1940's pin-up poster. If Diane was here, she would say it. I positioned myself next to her.

"Excuse me, I just wanted to say that you have the most beautiful, radiant hair!" I said reluctantly. Her face turned to mine with legitimate surprise. For a split second she looked as though she was about to shuffle to the right to get out of the way. She thought I was talking to someone else. Upon the realization that I was looking at her, she began to tear up, glossing her hazel eyes with a slight glint.

"Oh. Thank you...... that just made my day." Her smile radiated outward and her stature changed.

As I walked away, although I felt a bit odd (being that I am socially shy) there was a sense of joy from seeing that a simple observation such as that could have such an impact on someone.

I challenge everyone to give a stranger a compliment today. Practice seeing the beauty, attractiveness and luster that is around you, in others. Reach out and use your voice to make a small but significant statement. When you get home, look in the mirror and do the same for yourself.

Nat