Day 51 - Emotional Undereating

Overeating and undereating, although they may appear to be opposites, are in fact responding to similar core issues; needing a sense of control or purpose in a chaotic or empty-feeling life. Although those of us who have a tendency to overeat may think that undereaters are a whole different species altogether, it is actually just another form of disordered eating. Here are some of the foundational principles that underlay undereating:

• Using food restriction as an emotional coping mechanism
• Allowing weight or body shape to determine worth
• Disconnection from body wisdom (hunger, fullness, positive sensation)

Are You an Undereater?

• Have you eliminated certain classes of food (such as carbs or fat)?
• Do you think that thinner is always better?
• Do you deal with heavy emotions of anger, sadness, worry or despair by not eating?
• Does not eating make you feel more in control? 
• Do you like the feeling of being valued and praised for your level of control and restriction around eating? 
• When life gets stressful do you place your physical needs last on the list? 
• Do you tend to get overwhelmed easily and place others needs ahead of your own?
• Does stress cause you to lose your sense of hunger?
• Do you oftentimes feel that you do not know what your body needs or what it is telling you?

If you responded yes to multiple questions above than it may be worthwhile to begin to apply some of the basic steps in this blog.

The misfortune of struggling with undereating, whether chronic in the case of anorexia or slightly habitual when under stress, is that it is considered an admirable trait by society. Those who can control and detach themselves from eating are placed on a pedestal and praised. Co-workers, family, friends and strangers give us attention and acclaim when they see us losing weight, nibbling cautiously on food or leaving extra servings on the plate.

Case in point: Recently I got a bout with a horrible flu. I was out of commission for a whole week, writhing in pain in 5 bath tubs a day as the fever coarsed its way through my veins and my muscles felt like they were being eaten alive by virus, aching their way to a slow death. It was horrible. I could not eat anything. The thought of any food made me want to gag, even though I was hungry and so incredibly tired. Finally, after a lot of sleeping I came out the other end. The first day that I went back into town I saw a family friend. Here is how the conversation went:

"Wow! You have lost a lot of weight!" He exclaimed, looking me up and down.

"Oh. Well, yes, I was sick for a whole week and couldn't eat anything. That is probably why." Acting nonchalant I immediately began inquiring in my head. I had noticed that I had lost a good amount of muscle but was surprised that someone would have noticed.

"Well... you should get sick more often!!" He replied as he turned and walked away. I could not believe it. After essentially starving myself for seven days, I was told that I looked better than ever. Not only that, but this person was implying that I should continue to restrict so that I can dive into the realm of immeasurable thinness.

I was hugely disappointed that the thickness and muscle that I had acquired in my legs had been utilized as fuel during the illness. I thought I looked way better filled in, strong and functional. Yet this interaction personifies the fact that many in our society are socially conditioned to believe that a slim and streamlined female figure is better. Is it any wonder that some develop an affinity with undereating when it is applauded? What does it say about our current society when withholding and restricting garners more worship?

Wouldn't you rather create an internal world that has unconditional permission and positive sensation at its hub, fused with a natural radiance and attractiveness that comes from the joy of affirmative feeling? That is what The Awake Eating Method Nutrition Program is about.

If you struggle with undereating it is essential that you learn the following principles and apply them in your daily life:

1. Radiant health is the currency of beauty. No matter how many of us have been brain washed to believe that a certain body type constitutes beauty, it only penetrates into a shallow level of being. Every single person understands deep within that beauty is really just the ability to shine. When we shine bright from within, giving out our unique gifts and talents to the world around us, we positively affect all who come into our presence. That is the underlying foundational truth of beauty.  
1. Applicable step: When you find that you are restricting food out of fear of gaining weight, acknowledge that food is what fuels our body with the energy it needs to shine bright for all to see. Food that nourishes us is what creates a canvas for beauty.
2. Learn the life skill of thriving during challenges. Stress is just a feeling of not being able to cope. We all run into moments of pure overwhelm in life. It could be as simple as worrying about how to make breakfast in time or paying a bill, to something as heavy and complex as your parent's illness or your child's learning disability. The point is being able to deal with life's challenges without using the medium of food as a control tool. We must learn how to nourish our body with food and nourish our soul with self-love.
1. Applicable step: Next time you are stressed instead of withholding food ask yourself what you need to be able to function optimally. 
1. Check in with your physical body first. Do you have a headache? Are you tired? Make sure to feel the sensation of your body and take care of it first. Learn to feel your hunger and fullness through Nutritional Counseling. Oftentimes clients do not feel hunger unless they stop and relax for a bit (use the 3rd principle below). If you are not fed or nourished, then you will not be able to thrive and prosper in any area of life. Eat if you are hungry or have not eaten in 3 hours.
2. Check in with your emotional self. What do you need? Do you need help from those around you? Do you need to call and vent to a friend? How can you process what you are feeling, right now? Consider some self-care options like taking a bath, walking in nature, writing in a journal, taking an extra break at work or writing down what you want to manifest in your life. Your emotions are a gauge that are always telling you what you need to pay attention to. If you feel lousy it just means that you need to feed your soul (and maybe your tummy!).
3. Check in with the movable parts of your life. Our lives are not static. They are made up of innumerable, infinite potentials that we can reshape and redirect. What can you move around and change to diminish or eliminate this source of stress? Would making meals in the evening instead of watching TV help you take care of yourself the next day? Asking your spouse to pick up the kids two times a week would leave you with more relaxation time? You would be surprised at how many solutions exist for you. It is just a matter of valuing your feelings enough to do something about them.
3. Understand that you are worth it. Putting off eating because of a packed work schedule, family, kids, and friends are pulling on you or because there always seems to be something more important and pressing going on says that you are functioning under the belief that you do not matter. That could not be further from the truth. If you are an empty cup you have very little to give and your relationships and professional life will suffer. When you take care of yourself and fill yourself up like an overflowing cup you have the ability to create anything from this pool of potential energy.
1. Applicable step: Create a three times a day check in. If you work this could be during your breaks and lunch. If you are traveling or at home you will make a schedule similar to if you were in an office (i.e. 10am break, 12:00pm lunch, 3pm break). During these check ins do the following:
1. Deep breathing. Take just three to five minutes to do some deep breathing. All it requires is that you find a private place where you can close your eyes and focus on your breath. Shoot for 5 count for the in-breath and a 5 count for the out-breath.
2. What do I need now? After the deep breathing, still with your eyes closed, ask yourself what you need. When was the last time you hydrated yourself or ate? Are you upset about something and need an outlet? Simply ask yourself what you need and see what comes up in your mind. This is similar to the "learning the life skill" principle above, but is applied in a habitual way multiple times a day.
3. What do I want for today? This is so important!! Honing in on your desires is key to fulfilling your emotional self. Simply ask yourself what you want, and see what comes up. 

Nutritionally speaking rehabilitating from undereating is just as simple as learning how to recognize and respond to our body's wisdom. Although the above is a sampling of the concepts you can apply today, Nutritional Counseling can be a powerful way to empower yourself into a place of vibrant health. Here are some of the things that we would cover:

• Honoring your hunger
• Feeling your fullness
• Activating sensation with hydration
• Rejecting the diet mentality
• Silencing the food police
• Love your body exercises
• Discovering your true beauty
• Distinguishing emotional needs from physical needs

Remember that whether you apply the above principles or decide to see a Nutritionist you are putting yourself on a new path that is no longer about holding back. You will be starting a new journey with the consent to go ahead and enjoy the positive, good, ecstatic feelings and sensations that you were meant to experience in your lifetime. 

Nat